People say “men are visual beings but women are not.”
Of course this is not true.
Women are also visual beings too but maybe not as intense as men are.
When a man sees a pretty woman with a sexy body he instantly feels arousal. Women may not be exactly like this oftentimes they may want to get to know men just a little bit and see how they will behave.
Personality of course matter. A man’s courage, his emotional toughness and confidence, his assertiveness, dominance and charisma can be sexually attractive to women. Generally, insecure, submissive, overly agreeable type of men aren’t much sexually appealing to women. That’s why often times women aren’t sexually attracted to nice guys because they act timid and too passive. They look harmless and therefore less masculine.
But the thing is, women don’t want to get to know a man if they don’t find him physically attractive enough. They don’t care about his personality or behaviors if they don’t find him good looking enough. Especially when it comes to sexual intimacy.
Initial attraction is a must for women. Therefore you can not look unattractive or below average and still get all the women with your masculine behaviors, charisma and status. Life doesn’t work like that.
No amount of masculine behaviors, personality, money or status will make an unattractive looking guy sexually appealing.
Because you have to have enough amount of looks to create that initial attraction. You have to look decent enough for women.
The truth is people judge people based on their appearance.
People judge people’s personalities based on how they look.
This is a well known fact and it’s very hard to break that.
Short, fat and ugly guy can not act confident and assertive because that way women will call him creepy. They don’t want him to approach them unfortunately. They don’t want any attention from him. They don’t buy his confidence because they think he fakes it or his confidence and “masculine behaviors” look repulsive to them.
On the other hand when woman see a tall, handsome, muscular guy they don’t think like “oh he must be insecure, timid and socially awkward”.
Because, we always make strong assumptions about people based on their appearance.
Therefore looks matter a lot, more than people willing to admit.
If you are a tall, fit and handsome guy you need even less confidence, masculine behaviors and social skills to make women sexually attracted to you because women will think that you have a great personality already. If you say them that you are insecure, depressed and socially awkward they will think that you are faking it or just making a joke. They will even ignore your bad personality traits and desire you in a very short time.
Because they will think that you are confident, assertive, socially skilled, successful guy that a lot of girls are chasing. They will assume that you are a nice, charming guy. They will laugh at every silly joke that you make.
(When they first see you, they will give you warm smiles and signs of interest. They will play with their hair and be flirtatious and giggle like teenagers. They will act open and inviting towards you. They will make things easier for you. They will try to get your attention. And all this will happen before they even know about your personality.)
This is a scientific fact. It’s called halo effect.
No one can escape from this.
(There are a lot of women who send love letters, money and nude photos to convicted felons and even murderers just because they are good looking and they think these bad guys are “misunderstood”. This is the power of halo effect, this is the influence that handsome men have over women.)
When people see an unattractive looking guy they don’t think that he is happy, confident and successful. They don’t say “he must get a lot of girls”. No, they think exactly the opposite. And if he behaves confident and assertive or if he states that he has a lot of women after him they get confused and suspicious. They don’t believe him.
It’s so hard to not think like that. Because our brains make complex world easier by making assumptions like this.
When you see a person who dress and look certain way, you instantly put him or her into categories and expect him or her to act certain way.
For example; a nerdy, skinny looking guy who wears super hero shirts and glasses can act masculine and assertive but still he won’t have much success with it because people will expect him to behave differently. More likely they won’t buy his masculine attitude. They won’t believe him.
And this has been proven by studies. Women (also men) are extremely influenced by looks. The more good looking a man is the better personality score he gets by women.
One of famous online dating sites (OkCupid) asked women to rate men’s personalities and surprisingly the most good looking men are also rated as the most confident, intelligent, funny and successful. And unattractive men got the lowest ranking on personality score. This is halo effect in action right there. It’s impossible to go against this. It’s a law of nature. Looks affect everything. You can not separate personality from looks completely.
Also looks not only influence opposite sex it also play a significant role in our personality.
Our looks shape our own personality.
Why do you think that good looking people generally are more confident and happy and unattractive people tend to be angry, depressed and insecure.
Because looks affect personality.
If you are good looking, people tend to treat you better, opposite sex desire you and you experience positive experiences and therefore you become socially skilled, confident and happy. You tend to be more successful in life.
On the other hand if you look unattractive, you tend to experience negative experiences and therefore you become more insecure, depressed and socially awkward.
And one study shows how important actually looks are, even more than personality.
When mothers and their daughters have to choose potential partners, they do not look much further than skin deep. Mothers are not quite as picky though, and will choose a man who is only reasonably attractive for their daughters. Daughters on the other hand prefer an attractive man, no matter how respectful, friendly, ambitious or intelligent he may be. This is according to the authors of a study in Springer’s journal Evolutionary Psychological Science, led by Madeleine Fugère of the Eastern Connecticut State University in the US.
The research team assessed the mate preference of 80 women between the ages of 15 and 29 years old, and one or both of their parents. Only data collected from the 61 mothers present were analysed for the purposes of the current study. The women were presented with photographs of three male targets varying in attractiveness. Each photograph was paired with one of three trait profiles. The “respectful” profile included the traits “respectful, trustworthy, and honest;” the “friendly” profile included being “friendly, dependable, and mature;” and the “pleasing” profile meant that the man was “of a pleasing disposition, ambitious, and intelligent.” The women had to rate the photographs and trait descriptions in response to how attractive they found the man, how favourably they rated his personal description, and whether they’d consider the person as a dating partner for themselves or their daughters.
Physical attractiveness, strongly influenced how women and their mothers saw the target men. The attractive and moderately attractive ones came up trumps. Men with the most desirable personality profiles were rated more favourably than their counterparts only when they were also at least moderately attractive. Even when unattractive men possessed the most desirable traits, the mothers and daughters did not view them as potential dating material.
“We conclude that a minimum level of physical attractiveness is a necessity for both women and their mothers,” says Fugére.
It was also found that daughters are pickier than their parents when it comes to choosing between potential mates. Mothers rated all men, even the least attractive ones, as potentially desirable partners for their daughters, while the younger women did not.
“This may signal that unattractiveness is less acceptable to women than to their mothers,” states Fugère. “It might also mean that women and their mothers may have different notions of what constitutes a minimally acceptable level of physical attractiveness, with mothers employing a less stringent standard than their daughters.”
She explains further that when women and their parents are asked their opinion about potential mates, they always rate traits like respectfulness and friendliness as more important than physical attractiveness. “Yet, in doing so, they assume that the potential mates meet acceptable standard of physical attractiveness. However, when a range of attractiveness levels is presented, physical attractiveness takes priority over other characteristics.”
So looks matter a lot, it’s even more important than personality.
Women can even ignore bad personality traits if you are really good looking.
Men or women we all value good looks. We all value symmetry.
Good looks indicate high genetic quality. It indicates health. It indicates high status.
Especially when it comes to sexual attraction, lust and short term relationships looks are highly important to women.
If you look at romantic movies that female targeted, you can see all the lead male actors are tall, handsome and charismatic men.
If women didn’t care about looks then we would see different looking males in those movies. And we would see more about their awesome personalities instead of their hot bodies.
When women dress pretty and sexy to go out and get some attention they don’t want attention from unattractive men. They want attention from attractive, handsome men. They want those men to approach them.
Yes women might care about personality but they do it after they find a guy attractive physically. Also women value more about personality when they look for emotional connection and long term relationship.
Women act open and willing when they find a guy physically attractive but on the other hand they act close and mean towards him if they don’t find him attractive enough.
That’s why looks are more important than personality because without looks you can’t have an opportunity to show your personality because you can’t create that initial attraction.
You can not afford to look unattractive. You can’t look unattractive and still get a lot of girls. Some men achieve that because they have a lot of money and status and often times women use them for their resources and status to gain benefit for themselves. They are not actually attracted to them physically and sexually. They don’t truly adore and admire them.
But if you seek real sexual attraction, affection and admiration from women, looks matter the most.
Attractive masculine personality traits like confidence, dominance or assertiveness only work when you have decent attractiveness.
If you are good looking and confident, your confidence will look charming, women will say you are cool, funny and cute. But if you are unattractive and confident, your confidence will look repulsive. You will look like overcompensating. Women will think that you are a creepy, annoying guy.
Therefore even identical personalities can get different reactions with different looking people.
The most important thing is your looks. Personality can make a difference but it comes after your looks.
You don’t have to look like a perfect male model of course to attract women and make them sexually desire you.
But you have to look attractive enough (can vary from woman to woman) in order to create that initial attraction.