Generally men have higher sex drive than women. They are more eager for sex at any time. This is a known fact.
But what men don’t understand is women have very very strong emotional needs that most men don’t have or even aware of.
Reason for this is because women couldn’t live on their own for a long, very long period of time. The world was a very dangerous, very brutal place and women were completely dependent on men all the time to survive and raise their children.
That made women very insecure and very needy for a man. That made women crave to be desired and loved on extreme levels in order to feel secure and live a normal life. Because that was their only way. They survived by being worthy enough to get attention and love from men. They had to be desirable constantly so men care about them.
Therefore; women seek to feel desired and loved like men seek sex.
Women crave attention like men crave sex all the time.
That’s the main difference in both genders.
Therefore men chase sex like it’s a mechanical thing, for their physical needs. Mostly for relief.
On the other hand if women chase sex, beside their physical needs they chase it mostly for their emotional needs. They want to feel wanted, they want to feel desired. They want to feel loved.
They want to be the center of attention, they want to be craved by a man especially by an attractive man. Women have intense urge to fulfill those feelings, they live for these feelings and they are highly likely fulfill those through sex.
Because they know men love sex and they desire sexy women. They give attention to those women. Therefore women want to be desirable and sexy so they can get attention and love from men and that way they can feel desired, wanted and safe and secure.
Because women think if men love sex and if i give them sex then men will love me and give me a lot of attention and affection. And that way i will be safe and secure.
Women don’t think this consciously of course it happens mostly subconsciously.
They just follow their feelings. They have strong need to fulfill their feelings.
Women have a very intense need in them to be genuinely desired and loved. That’s what women are in their core. It’s their lifeblood. They are beings who live for male attention, desire and love all their life. Because as i said that’s how they survived.
So most of the time sex means getting attention, sex means validation, sex means being desired and loved, it means worthiness to women. Therefore it’s attached to their feelings.
That’s how women think, that’s how they feel.
When women go out they don’t actually seek sex just for sex like men do. It’s not completely mechanical thing for them. Men want sex just for sex almost with any decent looking woman just to fulfill their physical urges.
But when women seek out sex, beside fulfilling their physical needs they highly crave to fulfill their emotional needs. When women go out they actually chase the feeling of being desired and wanted, they chase attention and validation, they chase love. And they know one of the best ways to get those from men is through sex. (But oftentimes it can backfire on them and at the end they might feel used and not fulfilled emotionally.)
Because they think that’s how men show their love and desire and give them attention.
Remember, women live for feelings. Feelings drive their behavior. And because they constantly crave to get attention and to be desired and loved by men so sex can be a great tool to fulfill those emotions even for a short time.
Women can’t feel the raw desire of a man beyond sex. Therefore they use sex to fulfill the emotional void in them.
When an attractive man desires a woman and gives her the attention she craves; she feels special, she feels desired. She feels worthy, she feels validated, she feels enough and she gets aroused.
If you think about it, getting sex isn’t that hard for women therefore there is no much purpose or motivation for them to chase sex just for sex. But women crave to be desired so much, they crave attention so much especially by an attractive man that they give sex in return for attention and validation.
Also note that women get pregnant and invest a lot of resources to raise children therefore they instinctively want to be with a man who really interested in them, who really want them so women can increase their chance of getting commitment from that man and making him more likely to stay around. That’s why they don’t want to have sex with men who are not really into them or desire them. They don’t want to reward someone who doesn’t show a lot of interest. Unlike men, women don’t want to be with just anyone. They want to be with men who show enough amount of desire and give a lot of attention to them.
That’s why women want men to initiate, do the chase because that’s how they truly feel desired and wanted. That’s why women hate and afraid of rejection on extreme levels.
That way women feel special because a man desires them so much that they even conquer their fears for them.
Sometimes women seek sex to make certain guy commit or they do it to make their man stay in relationship and love them even more or they just do it because sex brings them closer and make their bond stronger.
Also if a woman feels really bored, ugly, insecure, alone or if she doesn’t get much male attention as much as her friends or if she has low self esteem she may go out to chase sex.
But not because she craves sex exactly like men do, not because she wants to get a lot of sex just for sex.
No, because she actually wants to feel pretty, desired and worthy again. She wants to feel loved. She wants to feel secure. She actually chase sex to get attention and validation. Sex simply how she gets it. It’s just a tool for her to fulfill her emotional needs.
Most women are really really insecure and have low self esteem. Reason for this both biological but also psychological.
Therefore when women feel ugly, unworthy, insecure or alone and if they don’t get much attention they might use sex to feel secure and worthy again.
There is a research about this topic that women even cheat on their partners not because biological reasons but mostly for emotional reasons.
They cheat on because they don’t get the attention and desire that they used to get anymore. Their men don’t make them feel desired and wanted anymore and therefore they feel so insecure and then they cheat on their partner to feel secure again. They seek attention from other men.
You have to understand that women need male attention and validation constantly, all the time, every single day. That’s their instinct. That’s how they evolved. Like men have urge to have sex all the time, women have urge to get male attention and validation all the time.
So some women especially women who didn’t get much attention and love from their parents might try to get from other men by seeking lots of sex.
Or sometimes if a woman competes with a lot of women to be desired and get attention by a certain man she may give him sex just to get his attention and be the one that gets him and make other women jealous.
Again it’s mostly about fulfilling feelings.
Women do almost anything to fulfill their emotions. Sex is no different. Remember, women have a big emotional void in them by default.
So women may do most crazy things, they may act very odd and wild just to get male attention and validation. Just to feel desired and loved for a moment.
Feelings are women’s motivators. They drive them.
Therefore most of the time women use sex because of emotional reasons.
Well having said that, when do women seek sex physically like men do? When do they crave and have intense physical urge to have sex just like men?
First, they do it when they are ovulating. In that time their hormones force them to seek sex so they become really horny.
Because in that time their whole body urgently seek quality sperm for their one egg before it’s too late and they crave sex more than in their normal times.
And second, they feel intense physical urge and horniness when they interact and flirt with a sexually attractive man. Because their urges will be triggered externally at that point. They will get stimulated and desire to have sex with him in a short time.
(Women are wired to mate quickly with sexually attractive men to not miss the opportunity to get quality genes and bond with them because they instinctively know that these kind of men have many other options. And therefore missing that kind of high value man would be huge evolutionary disadvantage for women.)
And sometimes some women have a really high sex drive, they have high libido like men and therefore they can seek lots of sex to relieve themselves just like men do but these women are rare of course.
It’s not like women don’t feel the need to have sex physically like men do though. Of course women are very sexual beings but my point is women’s emotional needs weigh way more than their physical needs and therefore they are highly willing to fulfill their emotional needs with sex. Whether it’s one night stand, affair or long term relationship, even women are really horny and crave physical relief still they always want to fulfill their physical urges with a man who really desires them and wants them not just with anyone.
So generally that’s how and why men and women chase sex for different reasons in many times.