How much do women care about looks? Is looks important? How much looks is important? Is looks more important than personality?
There are a lot of debates about this topic.
First of all, yes looks is important for both men and women. Good looks indicates good genetic health.
We judge people based on their appearance. It’s called halo effect. And no one can’t escape from this.
Some people say women don’t care about looks as much as men do. This is somewhat true because women not only look at men’s appearance but also they look at personality, behaviors and status.
Men mostly judge women’s attractiveness based on visual signs. Based on how pretty they are. Because men look for fertility signs and those signs are mostly visual. The second a man sees a woman, he decides in his mind most of the time. He feels instant attraction.
But women also look at your confident attitude, masculine behaviors, social skills and status to decide whether you are an attractive man or not. They judge those along with your looks.
They do this unconsciously to understand are you worthy enough to survive in this world. A man’s confidence, masculine behaviors, social skills and status are crucial for his ability to survive and succeed in life not just his looks. A man’s genetic value not only comes from his healthy, good looks but also his ability to survive and dominate.
BUT beside personality and status of course women also care about looks especially when it comes to sexual attraction. It’s not like they don’t care about looks at all. Looks always matter.
A lot of times first thing that women look in you is your appearance. They even judge about your personality and status based on your appearance. (Remember, you can’t escape from halo effect.)
How many times you see women obsessed about men’s height? All the time, right?
Height is the number one and one of the most important factors when it comes to physical attraction.
Well it doesn’t mean you have to be taller than six feet tall otherwise you have no chance. No it’s not like that.
Women simply just want you to be taller than them.
Therefore women want someone like that. They want to feel safe and secure beside you.
Women know if you are too short, way shorter than them doesn’t mater how much masculinity or confidence or status you have, you will have a huge disadvantage against tall guys. Because your confidence or status even might seem fake or exaggerated at that point. Short men seem to have low status, they don’t look like a man unfortunately.
Therefore women react really different to short men than they react to tall men.
There was a study about this topic that they’ve asked women to judge about men’s lives and their personalities based on their looks.
And women concluded that tall guys are probably more successful, rich, happy and good people. Yes, they assumed they were also good and nice people.
Also they assumed short men are probably insecure, have a really tough life and not happy.
That’s halo effect in action right there. No matter what we do we can’t escape from this. Our looks affects how people see us and treat us.
Imagine someone who is tall, fit, good looking and has tattoos and also wears leather jacket. Then try to guess his personality or status. And then imagine someone who is short, very skinny or obese and wears glasses and super hero shirts. Then guess about his personality and status. Which one of them would you say is the most confident and successful?
See? This is how our minds work. We tend to judge people based on how they look before even know them.
That’s why looks plays an important role in attraction actually.
Some women can even date with a guy just because he has height. Just because he is tall.
Now, if you are not a tall guy is it over? Of course not. You just have to look for girls that are shorter than you. And that way you will become “the tall guy”.
It’s that simple.
Women don’t want you to look like a child beside them. They want to feel safe and feminine. They want to be with a man.
After height, women look at your body frame.
They want you to look manly enough. Narrow shoulders, skinny legs and arms aren’t attractive for women that much. Generally women don’t like thin men.
You have to have enough bulkiness. Because short or too skinny guys look weak and feminine. They look non threatening. They don’t make women feel safe. Women feel like they are open for threats and harassments beside them.
Women want someone who looks larger than them because they feel girly that way.
Therefore women don’t like small body frame that much on men, they like wide shoulders, they like large chest and relatively big arms. They love good muscle tone. Because those men look little bit more aggressive and dominant.
Of course you don’t and shouldn’t have to look massive like a professional body builder. In matter fact too much muscle is always turn off for women. Having enough amount of muscle tone and having little bit larger body frame than women is enough for most women. Just don’t be under or way over the healthy BMI range. Just don’t look unhealthy.
This is why biologically men are bigger and taller than women. Because women choose those men since millions of years.
Women firstly sort men through looks. If you are tall, good looking guy they react much more open vs if you are short and unattractive guy.
After your height and body also women look at your face.
Face is important too when it comes to physical attraction.
You don’t have to have an amazing symmetrical face and have all the masculine, good looking facial features like a male model (these guys are highly rare in society) but you have to have a decent face enough to be seen as a potential mate not like some creepy looking dude.
As a man if you have a decent looking face with enough height and body then physically you are enough for most women.
But also if you have a really good looking face above tall height and good body then of course you will be seen as dreamy by women there is no question about that.
Note that if you have a very good looking face and tall, fit body then having minimum amount of confidence and social skills can make massive impact on women in that case because halo effect will make your personality and status look even much much bigger in women’s eyes. They will assume that you must be highly confident, socially skilled and intelligent person because of this phenomenon. Therefore the more good looking you are the less masculine behaviors and status you will need.
So in conclusion women care about looks more than most people think especially if they are looking for short term relationship like hookup. Often times they make strong assumptions about your personality and status based on your looks when they see you the first time. This is a well known fact.
They want a man that looks taller and larger than them, they want a man looks healthy and decent enough.
All humans are programmed to seek healthy, good looking mates to procreate and you and i can’t change that millions of years programming.
Women don’t want and sometimes can’t even tolerate weak or ugly looking men. They don’t see them manly and healthy enough to mate with unfortunately.
So next time when someone says women don’t care about looks you know what they mean. They mean or try to say; women care a man’s personality and status also before making any decision. That’s true because they also look at your masculine behaviors, confidence, social skills and status. Women are not only attracted to looks but they are also attracted to masculine behaviors and status. But many times they look at these along with your looks as a whole, they don’t much separate them from each other.
That’s why saying women don’t care about looks at all is totally wrong thing to say because women care about looks a lot also.
The truth is without being enough physically, your masculinity or your confidence, social skills or your status won’t much matter. Those traits will be less effective or they might even seen as fake by many women. Without having the enough looks your confident, masculine attitude will be seen just creepy by them to be honest.
When it comes to attraction looks comes first. Then your personality and status play a role. But if you don’t have enough looks you can’t create that initial attraction, you can’t make your personality or status work properly.
If women didn’t care about looks at all then we would live in a very different world. But they do actually.
There is a saying in women’s world: “If you are attractive it’s called flirting but if you are ugly it’s called harassment.”
Women think that way. So if you don’t look enough to pass the barriers of female brain they will look at you as a potential threat not a potential mate.
Therefore having enough amount of looks is crucial. You have to have enough amount of height, face and body (it can vary from woman to woman) so women want to get to know you even more. But if you don’t have enough looks for them, if you look unattractive or ugly then most of the time women will not care about your personality or status from that point.
Actually one study shows that physical attractiveness appears to act as a gatekeeper for potential mates. If a man meets a required level of physical attractiveness, then women are willing to consider his personality characteristics, the study revealed. But on the other hand if a man doesn’t meet the acceptable standard of looks then women don’t care about his personality or any other traits.
This study found that personality traits were more important than physical attractiveness only when the men were at least moderately attractive. Men with the most desirable personality profile were rated more favorably than their counterparts only when they were moderately attractive or more attractive. Unattractive men were never rated as more desirable partners by women even when they possessed the most desirable trait profiles. (This proves my point.)
However, the new findings, combined with previous research in which women have reported that personality is more important to them, suggest that women tend to underestimate the true importance they place on a man’s physical attractiveness, Fugère (scientist who did the study) said. (Learn more about the study from here.)
And another study has been done about this topic which proves that looks matter more than people claim.
Researchers from Northwestern University attempted to answer the question: Do People Know What They Desire in a Romantic Partner?
The approached their research by first having candidates fill out questionnaires on what they felt was most important in a relationship. They then ran a 2 hour speed dating event where individuals had to choose afterwards who they wanted to see again. They were given the opportunity to start messaging any matches. They subsequently filled out a post dating questionnaire evaluating their opinions of their various matches.
Researchers then used follow up studies to assess who actually initiated a relationship and the correlations for physical attractiveness, wealth, and personality in predicting those relationships.
They found that men and women both underestimated the importance of physical attractiveness, but women far more so. Ratings were:
- Men’s Pre-Conceptions: Personality (8.1) > Looks (8.04) > Money (6.91)
- Women’s Pre-Conceptions: Personality (8.1) > Money (7.73) > Looks (7.18)
- Both Genders’ Actual Factors: Looks > Personality > Money
Thus while women rated physical attractiveness for a man as their lowest priority, it turned out to be their strongest priority. Studies like this suggest why it may not be useful to ask women what is most important to them, as in many scientific studies (mainly those relying on rating traits of hypothetical partners, or self reported preferences), they have not been able to give reliable or factual answers on this subject. As in most cases, nature is best learnt through objective observation i.e. revealed preferences vs. stated preferences.
Of course you don’t have to look like Chris Hemsworth or any other extremely good looking actor or male model of course, don’t think that you have to have everything and be perfect physically. Those kind of men are highly rare in real life. But you just have to look decent enough to be seen as a potential mate. You can not afford to be unattractive completely. Otherwise as we concluded your personality or status will not work and women will not care and they will even call you creepy.
Having said that, you will wonder is just having a good looks enough then? Can looks alone work without having enough amount of confidence, masculine behaviors and status?
Sometimes it might especially if you are really that much good looking. But many times not so much. Of course looks plays a major part on attraction we’ve already established that but still you have to have enough amount of masculine behaviors, confidence and social skills to make your looks work properly. Majority of men need have the personality as well. If you only have looks but somehow or for some reason if you are insecure, timid, weak, lack social skills or if you act like typical nice guy or worst if you are effeminate then most women won’t find you attractive after that point. Effect of your looks will fade away quickly in their eyes. Because they will lose that initial attraction.
Yes women are visual beings but not exactly like men. Men mostly decide based on looks, based on visual signs. Generally women don’t feel instant visual attraction towards men like that. Their desire grow bigger when they get to know a man little bit with time. Even if it’s for couple minutes. Generally women have to see your movements, your behaviors, tone of your voice etc. along with your looks to desire you. Because they crave masculine behaviors beside looks. They have to see your confident masculine attitude and social skills little bit beside your looks. Because they judge you as a whole.