Attraction and Lust Are NOT The Same Things to Women

Us men can’t comprehend this because only thing that we care is lust in many times. We feel love and emotional connection of course but our number one priority is lust, it’s sexual attraction that we want especially this is the case for younger guys.

Women feel and behave differently though. Their priorities are different.

As i mentioned before women actually don’t need emotional connection to have sex and feel lust towards a guy. If a guy is good looking and masculine enough then women will desire him in a short period of time. It happens all the time. They don’t need to spend days to understand a guy’s sexual attractiveness. This is just a silly idea.

A lot of one night stands and hook ups happen like that. Typically good looking and assertive “sexy bad boys” have sex with most women when it comes to short term relationships like hook up. A lot of data supports this.

Looks (most important) and masculine behaviors like assertiveness and dominance are the most important things to make a woman feel aroused. When women want to have casual sex they go directly to that type of men.

Because they can do that easily and also they are highly picky due to their nature.

If you think about it getting sex isn’t that hard for women. And if they can get it from attractive, good looking men they will get it. If they want to have casual sex they will not go to an average looking male, they will be with the best guy that they can be. They will want to have sex with the most good looking and charismatic men. It’s very natural for them to behave like that.

But having a lot of casual sex with good looking men isn’t something that most women’s priority. They do it, they have fun with it especially when they are young and wild but oftentimes what they actually want and what they search for is long term relationship.

A woman can get a lot of sex from attractive, handsome men and still she can complain and feel unfulfilled unless she gets geniune love and commitment from a guy also.

Women crave long term relationship, they crave to fulfill their emotional needs and when they say “i care about personality” or “personality is more important than looks” or “i don’t care looks i only seek high value guys” they talk about long term relationship not casual sex. They talk about love not lust.

But because men think about sex all the time, because we value sex more than anything, when we think about attraction we only think based on sex and lust and then we get confused about this.

When women go for casual sex they mostly decide based on looks. They want to have sex with tall, fit, handsome males. Because they are visual beings too.

This is because of hypergamy and women have few eggs and higher risk due to pregnancy therefore they are evolved by nature to be extremely picky and cautious about who to have sex with.

That’s why only few percentages of men are able to have casual sex with many women. Because only those men are genetically superior and attractive enough. Only those men spark strong lust and arousal on women in a short time.

I said this millions of times but when women interact with tall, handsome, masculine men in enough time, they feel intense sexual urge and horniness. Their whole body whisper them to have sex with these genetically superior men in a short time. (Because instinctively they don’t want to miss the chance of getting high quality genes.)

That’s how they cheat on their long term partners. They follow their urges and feelings.

But oftentimes women want relationship, they want to be loved, they want emotional connection with a guy because that’s their main mating strategy.

As i mentioned countless times women have dual mating strategy.

They need superior genes to make healthy and strong offspring also they need commitment, love and resources.

Women are evolved like this because oftentimes they couldn’t fulfill those two needs with the same man at the same time. Only very few lucky women were able to find a guy like that who has both aspects.

Therefore when women look for relationship, when they look for long term partnership they care about personality and money or status more than looks. They want someone who has similar interests with them, they want someone who is nice, funny, caring, loving and respectful. This guy can be average looking or even little bit below average looking but women don’t care about that as long as he has a great personality and resources or status.

But even if women have loving, good husbands or long term partners still they can cheat on them.

Because women are hardwired like this.

This is how cavewoman achieved success. This nature is in them. They can get genes from one guy and love, commitment and security from another guy.

Women can genuinely love their husbands or long term partners, they can feel emotional connection to them, they can say “i really feel attracted to my partner” or “i love my husband” but at the same time they may not feel strong lust and arousal to them.

They can cheat on them when they are horny (especially during ovulation) or when they have the opportunity (interacting with a handsome, sexy man). They are open to that. Women can have wildest sex with sexually attractive men and break every single rule that they have. They can do very kinky, slutty things with them while they act prude and virtuous with their long term partners and give them average, boring sex.

Women are not loyal beings. Women are hardwired to have many options to fulfill their different needs.

Even young women can act like this. They can find average looking, nice and loving guy to have meaningful relationship and fulfill their emotional needs and then they can have many casual sex on the side with good looking, assertive guys. They can fulfill their emotional and physical needs with different guys at the same time.

This is the nature of women. Therefore attraction and lust are not the same things. Again attraction and lust are not the same things. When women talk about attraction often times they don’t talk about sex.

Online dating coaches and dating videos on Youtube talk about how personality is so important, how women aren’t much visual and they care about personality more but people who give these advices think based on long term relationship, they think about attraction not lust. They talk about how to build emotional connection with women. Because women care about this more than sex.


Because getting sex isn’t much hard for women, especially in this age. But finding someone who will genuinely love them, care about them and always be with them isn’t easy. That’s why women care about this more than sex, that’s their priority.

Therefore you may trick women to make them love you and you can build emotional connection with them but if you are not both good looking and masculine enough women won’t feel strong lust, they won’t feel much horniness towards you. Because you can’t hack the nature just with your words.

There are millions of dead bedrooms and sexless relationships in this world. They are not legends or some fake stories.

They happen because of this phenomenon.

The reason women say things like looks don’t matter, personality is everything etc. because they don’t want to lose their potential long term partners.

If men believe that looks isn’t important when it comes to sexual attraction, it’s all about personality or status or money then women can manipulate those men and women can get in long term relationships much more easily.

Because women know that men want sex more than they want relationship and they use this for their own advantage.

Women don’t do this consciously though often times they are not even aware of their own behaviors.

But if you want real admiration and respect from women, if you want women to be kinky and highly sexual with you then you need to be sexually attractive. You need to be good looking and assertive.

Otherwise women will only feel emotionally attracted to you. They will use you for love, affection and relationship. They will use you for your resources and status.

But they won’t feel strong lust and sexual attraction to you.

4 thoughts on “Attraction and Lust Are NOT The Same Things to Women”

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